she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
