it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
