his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
