Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
