We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
