I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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