i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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