so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
