I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.