coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
