Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
