All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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