why didn't you poke me back
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
