I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
third nipple confirmed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
