That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
