Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
