the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
