in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
