My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I need to calm my uterus...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
