Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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