I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
