My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my being single is dangerous.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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