You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
