If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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