there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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