I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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