If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
