Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
