I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
