it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize