Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
