I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
