I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's the barista slut.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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