all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
