Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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