I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
