Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
