As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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