just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
