The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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