she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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