Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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