we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize