at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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