the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
