woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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