i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
someone owes me an orgasm
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
whose ass print is on the piano?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
