I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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