i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
