So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you never un-have a 4some
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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