is your mom at the bar?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
