Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
