So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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