this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
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Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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