There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
