I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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