i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
