I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I CAN MOONWALK!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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